Tenth Avenue North “Worn”: Simple Gift Sunday

And all that's dead 1

I started Marty’s Musings as a way of sharing our adoption story and connecting with other moms who were experiencing heartache in impossible situations. Over the last almost six years of sharing my heart with my readers I have written about my sisters death at the young age of 53;  the struggles we faced with our oldest adopted daughter ;  the challenging journey with her youngest two siblings; my parents’ sudden move into a nursing home; my dad’s death and then my mom’s passing a year later form nursing home neglect.

I have written openly about the presence of grief and pain in my own life, not to make anyone feel sorry for me, but to let others know there is someone who understands. When I was in the darkest days of my life I didn’t have anyone who understood what I felt as an adoptive mother or as a daughter caring for elderly parents while juggling homeschooling young children and parenting teenagers. I vowed that I would tell my story so that God could in some way redeem those days of darkness and I could somehow encourage others.

I'm tired I'm worn

I remember …

days taking a shower and feeling that little task was overwhelming.

being surprised by the sound of laughter and realizing it was mine, something I had almost forgotten how to do.

laying prostrate before God begging Him to rescue me from the pain.

waking up with a knot in the pit of my stomach, wondering how I could find the courage to live under day.

standing in church listening to others worship with tears streaming down my face in my loneliness.

 So I cry out

Survival.

Putting one foot in front of the other.

Risking rejection by loving.

And all that's dead 1

Finding a purpose and a plan in the midst of suffering.

Realizing I was being held by a loving God, being carried when I couldn’t move.

Worn by Tenth Avenue North

I cherish the stories you’ve shared with me and the way you’ve given me a glimpse into  your lives.

I don’t blog as often about these subjects but they will always be a part of my story. A part of my heart.

As I thought about what I wanted to share for my Simple GIft Sunday I heard the song “Worn” by Tenth Avenue North and I knew this was what I wanted to give you today.

I wanna know

A reason to hope.

A friend to walk the road with you.

Strength to keep going.

I would be honored if you would share your burdens with me and allow me to pray for you today.

You are not alone.

(Click through to watch video. It’s worth the time!)

Worn by Tenth Avenue North

I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing

I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed
By the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need
To lift my eyes up
But I’m too week
Life just won’t let up
And I know that You can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

And my prayers are wearing thin
I’m worn even before the day begins
I’m worn I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn so heaven so come and fluid my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn

I want to know a song can rise
From the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Yes all that’s dead inside will be reborn
Though I’m worn
Yeah I’m worn

Linking with: The Alabaster Jar, The Better Mom, Time-Warp Wife, Growing Home

Comments

  1. Marty, I’m a fairly recent follower and so haven’t walked with you through the struggles you’ve outlined here, but I can sure relate to the feelings you’ve described. It has been a long, tiring season for me and I KNOW pain and despair. And I KNOW I could not survive this season without the grace of my Savior Jesus. I LOVE this song. I hear it on the radio every day, and just this morning I got weepy listening to it again. In fact, I feel emotional just reading over the lyrics here :)
    I will join you (and anyone who happens by here) in a prayer of thanksgiving for God’s mercy and the gift of hope. Thanks to you, Marty, for allowing God to work through you here and being so open about your pain and struggles. I look forward to spending more time here.
    Jeanette

  2. Marty, I, too, am new to your blog and I’m so glad and blessed I found you. I missed reading of your struggles, but it’s nice to know that though our struggles are quite different, we are quite the same. Except you are braver. Thank you for the great song/video, so raw, so true, it just went on my FaceBook. I’d never heard of the artist or the song. Someday when it’s not 10:30 PM when I get to you, I’ll share and we can become closer sisters in Christ. <3
    Janet

  3. I also am a fairly new follower, and it seems I have quite a bit in common with you. My husband and I also adopted a sibling group from the foster system…it has been at the same time joyous and painful. It seems to get better every day, except then some days it doesn’t. I am also struggling to accept that my father is dying, while at the same time trying to remember that for now he is still here and rejoice in that. I am not quite as far along in my journey as you, nor have I shared much of my story. Some days I still feel like I am struggling to be a good mother to my children and some days I still feel like a failure at it. Sometimes it feels like life is too overwhelming. This was one of those Sundays for me at church, the tears were going as I listened to our worship band and wished I felt the truth in those words more than I did in that moment. So reading this today…it made me feel not alone in those moments, and that they will continue to diminish in frequency. I just wanted to thank you for being open and sharing your struggles with the world. I can tell you that reading your stories has helped me more than you know.

  4. I love love LOVE this song, and Tenth Avenue North. I used one of their songs in today’s blog post too! I wrote recently about Worn as well. It can really capture where we often find ourselves. God bless!

    http://lovingwhenithurts.blogspot.com/2013/02/words-on-calender.html

    • Thanks so much, Jamie, for sharing last week on the post “Worn” on my blog. I just glanced at your story and I can just tell from your writing that you know what it feels like to be broken and worn. I’m so glad you left a comment and I pray God will bless you on your journey to Him.
      Marty@Marty’s Musings

  5. Thank you for your transparency – for sharing and yet highlighting how God is ALL even when we’re feeling alone. This is a new song for me, so I also appreciate the introduction. Lovely.

  6. Oh Marty… what a blessing you are to share your heart and your faith and all the darkness you have endured- while exuding His light in it all. I am looking forward to reading more about you and your journey… I am sure that your words have blessed many along the way.

  7. I can’t wait to learn more and read more about you and your journey Marty! I am sure you have blessed many with your words and your story…

  8. Thank you!

  9. I can’t tell you how many times I think of this song daily. Thank you for sharing. God bless you and your family!

    • Thank you, Laura, for commenting on the post “Worn” last Sunday. It is truly a great son and has touched those places where grief and exhaustion have touched. I so appreciate you stopping by Marty’s Musings.
      Blessings to you as well.
      Marty

  10. Marty, one of my favorite quotes when I am feeling hopeless is by Corrie Ten Boom: “There is no pit so deep that God isn’t deeper still.” There’s great comfort in the truth behind that statement. Blessings to you, Lori

    • Thanks, Lori, for leaving a comment on my blog and sharing the quote from Corrie Ten Boom. You are an encouragement and I feel honored that you are visiting Marty’s Musings.
      Blessings,
      Marty

  11. Marty
    Thank you for sharing all this wonderfulness! I love the DIY stuff and just one day kept reading the rest of the blog. Im there with you on the grief and loss but Im not far enough out yet, Im still in the just getting out of bed stage and I just want to say sitting here at my computer your words brought me to tears and I finally felt like maybe possibly someone could understand. Thank You
    Meg

    • Hi, Meg. I am so glad that you took the time to investigate my blog and saw more than the DIY projects. I have written a lot about grief and loss because it’s been on my tender heart, especially around the holidays. I am so sorry you’re still in the mind numbing stage of just surviving but I promise you there will be a day when you will find that it has gotten better. I do understand. (((hugs))) Marty@Marty’s Musings

  12. This song has gotten me thought this past year. It will always have a special place in my heart. Thank you for this post, it was beautiful!

  13. Hurrah, that’s what I was seeking for, what a material!
    present here at this web site, thanks admin of this site.

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