4 AM Feelings From a Sleep Deprived Mom

Many of you longtime readers have heard all about my oldest daughter Rachel, with everything from her DIY wedding in 2011, baby gender reveal party last August and the unexpected arrival of baby Aiden early in December.

From age eleven and a half and up when we adopted a sibling group of three in 2000, Rachel was so faithful in babysitting and encouraging all of us through a very long process of heartbreak and attachment.

I have some very exciting God-sized plans in the works, and I’m very excited to share that Rachel will be contributing to the blog in the coming months. Her perspective on life as a sleep deprived mom, is a view of motherhood and life that I’m a few years removed from! My prayer is that it will encourage us all in our journey towards contentment amidst trials.

Please make her feel welcome (hint, hint! We love comments!) and show her what a wonderful community we’re building at this blog that I call home.

As a mother of a one month old I spend most of my days feeding my little one. At every three hours around the clock it has forced me to slow down and I have begun to cherish the special bond that only I will have with my son. 

Since finally conquering the breastfeeding hurdle after a very bumpy road, I have spent a lot of time reflecting.

Reflecting on my hopes and dreams for my son. Thinking how grateful I am to have such an incredible husband. Wishing I could be a stay at home mom and not return to work. 

One of the things that has hit me since Aiden was born is the values and life lessons my parents taught me that I pray we pass along to him.

My mom loves sappy things of this nature so I thought I’d share my three reflections and a wish with her (and you!). 

Reflection #1: Friends may come and go, but family is forever

I have finally reached a stage in my life where I am “rich” in relationships. The friends that are near and dear to me are genuine, supportive, beautiful people.

This has not always been the case. I spent large amounts of time over the course of my 26 years either broken hearted due to a lack of friends or I chose friends that were poisonous.

Through it all I had family. Cliche? Maybe. But there will never be another relationship (besides my husband’s) that I cherish so fiercely as mine with my mother. I can’t tell you the amount of time I have already spent praying over my son and our relationship. 

Reflection #2: Communication 

I grew up in a family that has faced challenges and heartbreak. Years of trauma and pain. I wouldn’t trade those years for anything – they molded me and the relationships I cherish into what they are today.

 

Through the hard times my family ALWAYS communicated – whether you wanted to or not! I truly believe that this communication and Christ’s love are the only way we made it. 

I always knew that there was never a problem or secret or joy I couldn’t share with my parents. I remember many nights sitting on my mom’s bed at the end of the day. Sharing struggles, opening my heart about my dreams, or just being silly and laughing together.

My Dad – even though I would use up all his words for the day – would take me out to breakfast every Friday where we would do the same. These are memories so precious to me. I pray Aiden will always know that I will make time to listen to him just like my parents did. 

Reflection #3: Find joy

One thing that has always been present in my home (now and growing up) is laughter.

As a family we were always intentional about family time. Game nights, movie nights, playing badminton in the backyard – even in the dark times laughter was always present.

  

My dad is particularly good at lightening a heavy mood through a joke. I see a lot of my Dad in my husband – and you get the two of them together and its a complete riot! I pray my own home is always filled with laughter and not bogged down during times of struggle. 

My wish: Trust in Faith

My greatest desire for Aiden is that he is led to the love of Christ through our example. I can look at all my reflections and clearly see they are all wonderful but are absolutely NOTHING without the foundation of Faith.

I am so thankful to have come from a family who lives that Faith every day, good and bad. I want him to know that when the world fails him – God will not. When he is in the valley of the shadow of death – God is there. When he makes mistakes – God loves unconditionally. 

Right now, despite lack of sleep, piles of unfolded laundry, list of unwritten thank you notes, and dreading going back to work, I choose to spend my days snuggling and praying for Aiden’s future. And thanking God for the family that He has given me.

 

Being a mom changes you and I wouldnt trade it for anything!

Photos courtesy of JLY Designs

 

Thank you, sweetie! We look forward to more reflections and cuddles from my precious grandson!

 

More of my personal reflections:

Unafraid: When should you see a therapist?

Should you give up your dreams for a better plan?

How my adopted daughter inspires me.

The day I flunked my homeschool kid.