Our Teenaged Son was a Runaway

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I have been paralyzed for over a week.

Unable to write a word or formulate a thought. 

I’d find myself staring at the floor for untold moments.

Only feelings of grief and shock. 

You see, this past Tuesday, April 28th, our 16-year-old adopted son became a runaway.

Why Did Our Teenaged Son Run Away? Marty's Musings

Our son is the youngest of a sibling group we adopted in 2000. The ensuing years have not been easy ones for us. 

The details aren’t necessary but they include a secret internet life, theft, vandalism and unbelievable deception.

How is that even possible? We homeschool. I’m home 24/7 (and his dad has been home recovering from surgery for five months). 

I plastered social media with his picture and pleas for help finding him and bringing him home safely.

Here’s what I wrote:

I have hesitated to share this on my business page, but there’s no greater purpose in social media than to help and encourage others. My goal for my blog has always been transparency without judgment in order to encourage other women that they are not alone in this journey. Here’s what I shared on my personal page. Friends of our family who live in Greensboro and the surrounding area, our 16-year-old son ran away from home yesterday. There are so many more details to this story but the police have been notified. If ANYONE sees him please contact us immediately or call the police. For our many prayer warriors who have walked with us through these difficult years with our adopted children, we ask that you pray for my son’s safety and for God’s peace to surround us all. Thank you.

Two and a half days later he showed up at home, safe but with a heartbreaking tale of bad choices and consequences.

The pain that my son holds deep inside is beyond our abilities now. His actions have created a fork in the road for us. 

For him.

Painful. Heartbreaking. Exhausting. Necessary. 

He doesn’t want to live with us anymore.

He wants a fresh start and a chance to make new friends.

Just not in our home.

I Am Not Alone worship video by Kari Jobe reminds us that even in the midst of the darkest night God gives us hope and strength for each new day.

As all this has unfolded my husband has been sick with the flu for a week and ended up in the ER for 10 hours with severe dehydration and influenza. He is slowly recovering but without his support the isolation and anxiety have overwhelmed me. 

My chest has literally been physically heavy with the weight of yet another family crisis

I will write about this next chapter one day on the blog, but I wait for God to give me the words to share something so personal that is not just the story of our lives, but of our children’s as well.

 

This is not the end of the story.

Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

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47 Comments

  1. I hope things have calmed down for you these days and that your husband is better. Sometimes kids just have to make mistakes.

  2. Marty. I am walking in those shoes now and have been for 14 years….our adopted son left us because he had chosen a different life style…..he stole money from a trust fund for his education….he told his Dad he did not want to see me when he came back to pack his clothes…….he was 7 months when we got him from the state…….he loved the Lord and sang with a gifted voice in church from the time he was 2 yrs old……received a voice scholarship for collage…….he left collage the day he was to come home for Christmas 1999…..he came back once but left again after he took the money…..these years have been very hard …..his Dad has dementia from a cardiac arrest…. I have several health problems from the stress….I know how heavy your chest feels ….how every things reminds you of him ….how your chest hurts when you think of him ….I have not spent a Mother’s Day in my town since he left….I can’t bare to hear the words Happy Mother’s Day……he is our only child……my husband will not talk about him and says he does not have a son because of the pain this brought to me……I could not pray for him but my loving friends have …..I can pray for you and your family and pray for your peace and trust in our Lord……I still do not understand why!!!! I know God has a plan and my hope is to understand one day when I stand before Him. Blessings. Virginia

  3. I’m sorry for the pain you’re going through. I’m there now too. My adopted daughter ran away on 4/30/15 and is still missing. We adopted her from Russia when she was 10 months old, and a son at the same time who was 11 months old. These teenage years have been very difficult. People say that it gets better and I’m taking that on faith. She will probably want to leave the family also, when it’s legal to. A friend sent me your web site, so I look forward to seeing what you post.

  4. This is Jenny Wallace husband.
    I am an adopted kid who grew up with a lot of hurt and acted in them.
    Please know we are praying for you. Please feel free to contact me @ [email protected]
    There is hope. In Jesus. Stay strong with the Lord as your cornerstone.

  5. My heart breaks for your family! I will lift your family up in prayer for the days & weeks ahead!